I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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