I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
