he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
