You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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