Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
