9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
