he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
