Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
