they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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