I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize