How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize