well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
