Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
