Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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