yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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