I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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