people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I will be naked everywhere
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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