Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
