A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
