Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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