you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
