I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
