Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
