I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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