trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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