Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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