Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
