Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
