Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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