Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
