so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
