So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
