update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
