Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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