I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize