I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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