YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
