God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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