Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
bring money and cleavage
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
