I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My pussy is not your playground.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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