youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
foreskin is a definite game changer
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
