i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
