a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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