I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
This couple is walking their pig around campus
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
