Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
