im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
