Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
