He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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