therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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