Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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