Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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