If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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