yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
