His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
