just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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