they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
