Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
