Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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