but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize